Abram's 2013 New Year's Resolutions

Mama says there is a lot of stuff in her heart these days. There are scary things happening in the world, new things about to happen in our lives, and many important things to think about. Mama says she is getting new gray hairs just thinking about all of them, but her age has two numbers, so I’m not really surprised about that.

Since I’m kind of the man of the house (when Daddy’s at work), I try to help Mama out as much as I can, which is why I often rearrange the stuff in the cabinets and scatter my toys around for her. (I don’t want her to get bored.) So I thought I’d help her out on here too and share some of my resolutions. I’ve only been around for one year, and I think I’m doing a pretty good job at this life thing so far (I eat, I sleep, I play…that’s pretty much it, right?), but I still have many more things to see and do and learn.

Here are the things I plan to do this year:

I will take every opportunity I get to play outside. In the mud, in the snow, in the sun…doesn’t matter. Being outside is the best!

I will just keep getting cuter and cuter. (It’s impossible to stop.)

I will be nice to my sister. (She's got some cool toys.)

I will let my mama kick her feet up and relax a little more. Maybe.

I will get the hang of this talking thing. I babble all the time, but I think it only makes sense in my own head. Mama thinks it’s really funny when she asks me what a duck says and I say “Kak Kak”.

I will get better at climbing. Mama seems to enjoy retrieving me from interesting places.

I will learn more facial expressions. I already have impeccable timing.

Basically, I’m just going to keep being my charming self. After all, it’s worked for me so far. Now, I’m only thirteen months old, but I think that’s a good resolution for everyone – be your charming selves. And dance whenever you hear music.

From bye-byes to blankies, may 2013 bring you all of your favorite things!

Love, Abram

Toy Ideas: A Not-So-Serious Christmas Gift Guide For Toddlers

As the Christmas holiday rapidly approaches, I once again find myself confused and overwhelmed by the overabundance of beeping, flashing, jangly toys on the market. Most of the stuff out there is just junk that will get tossed in the toy box and forgotten long before the stockings even come down, but sometimes I get lucky and discover a toy that actually entertains my kids beyond Christmas morning. 

We all want to give our children a magical Christmas, but how can we be sure we will get our money’s worth out of a toy purchase? Well, in an effort to help fellow parents weed through all of the unsatisfactory toys and find the ones that will actually provide hours of entertainment, I’ve put together a list of playthings that will undoubtedly spur squeals of glee from your little one.

If my little guy could write a letter to Santa, he would likely include the following in his wish list:

10) Packets of Oatmeal – Why bother with fancy maracas or drums when your child can let his inner percussionist out by gleefully thwacking together these crinkly casings of fun? Extra fun if one happens to rip open, sending oats flying everywhere.

9) Random Trinkets – This generally includes items your older child discards haphazardly, such as stickers, candy wrappers, marker lids, and other various choking hazards. Fun for you as well – nothing is quite as exciting as watching your toddler pick up a freaky purple spider and shove it in his mouth, only to discover that it’s just one of those plastic rings left over from Halloween.

8) A Giant Pile of Freshly Squeezed Dog Turd – It doesn’t cost a dime, unless you count the animal that provides it and the food required to create it, and Play Doh is highly overrated anyway.

7) Measuring Tape – Drape it, drag it, fling it, wag it…with this toy, one thing is certain – it will never, EVER actually be in the drawer it’s supposed to be kept in.

6) Plastic/Cardboard Containers – The recycling bin is a veritable treasure trove of Christmas goodies.  Nothing says playtime quite like a tampon box or a mostly-empty bottle of coffee creamer.

5) DVDs, Books, or anything else kept on a shelf – The more important/expensive the item, the better, and all you have to do to ensure that it gets played with is stack the item as neatly as possible amongst other important/expensive items.

4) Remote Control – In the middle of an intense moment of your favorite television show? That’s exactly when this item will most often be played with. Just make sure this is easily accessible to your little one, and it won’t be long before you’ll kick the television habit – an added bonus for you!

3) Laundry Basket –Push toys? No, laundry basket. Rocking animal toy? No, laundry basket. Expensive playhouse? No – laundry basket. The epitome of versatility, this item never loses its appeal. And somehow never gets used for laundry.

2) A Stocked Pantry – Once again, who needs a fancy playhouse? There is so much delight to be discovered within…

And finally,

1) Toilet Paper – And it's even better when it's already in the toilet.

So there you have it – a list of toys that your children would love to have but that you most likely will not purchase for them for Christmas…

Because then they probably wouldn’t want to play with them anymore.

Life Lately

Life has been a little crazy around here lately.

I know; everyone says that too often. How are you? Oh, it’s been crazy.

But seriously – it’s been crazy.

When we went on vacation last month to visit family, everyone commented on how good-natured Abram was, how he was just so pleasant of a baby.

Little faker.

I think he’s going through a separation anxiety phase. I never dealt with that with my independent little girl, so I’m just not used to having a seven-month-old who’s this fussy. He’s also still waking 2-3 times a night, but Hannah did the same at this age, and I’ve accepted that I just don’t have children who sleep through the night. At least he’s generally easy to get back to sleep.

Hannah has been attempting to give up naps lately, which I attribute to me finally getting brave and taking the “sucky” away just before we left for vacation. Sometimes, however, I can still get her to comply. Right now she’s peacefully snoozing away in our bed (I put her there so she wouldn’t disturb her brother’s nap), but I optimistically didn’t put a pull-up on her. I just checked – looks like I’ll be changing sheets soon.

As for me, I’ve been lacking in the motivation department and feeling like I can’t keep up with everything. Our vacation made me realize how nice it would be to have more of a family unit around. I’d love to have more time alone with my husband, more time to myself, and just more time to take care of things without squawking and shrieking in the background.

But, you know, if that’s the worst of my problems – I’ve got it pretty good. So I just try to maintain that perspective. I’ll admit, though – Abram’s not the only one who has had a couple of mini meltdowns.

Gotta love 'em, though.

Toddlerisms: Hannah's Latest Linguistic Achievements

She’s got the basics down, and now my little sponge is discovering some subtle language tricks that add flavor to her speech (and bring amusement to all). 

 1) Remembering and repeating what she’s heard:

* “Baby Abram freakin’ out!”

* “Sometimes diarrhea” (I probably didn’t need to tell her about this unfortunate side effect of eating too many grapes)

* “Woopsy Daisy!”

 2) Acquiring her daddy’s (sometimes brutal) honesty:

“Hannah, does this headband look pretty?”
- Long pause -
“Does it look pretty or silly?”
“Yes Mama, looks silly.”
“Really? It doesn’t look pretty?”
“No Mama, that doesn’t look very pretty. Take it outta hair.”

3) Revealing her uncanny knack for comic timing:

After running up to me and grabbing my face -
“Hannah, why are your hands wet?”
“I fell in the potty.”

4) Mastering literal interpretations:

“Are you a daddy’s girl or a mommy’s girl?”
“No, I not Daddy. I not Mommy. I Hannah.”

5) Asking annoying important questions:

“What’s that?”
“Why?”
“What’s that? What’s that?”

6) Learning mind over matter:

“Oh, yes! I like broccoli!”

7) Changing the subject:

“Hannah, did you pee in your pants?”
“I wuv you, Mama.”

As you can see, these are some critical communication skills. I think it’s clear that she’s well on her way to semantic success.

 Oh Hannah, in your own words,

YOU BE SILLY!

Toddlerisms: Treasure Seeking

One minute your child is learning to speak, and you are so excited when she puts a sentence together.

“Mama, tawbitties ah gone.” (Tawbitties = strawberries)

Then the next thing you know, she is turning her language into creative play – and you no longer see a baby before you, but a child at the beginning of her journey through imagination.

“Mama, wook! I found a treasure map. I needa find the treasure chest!”

Your jaw hits the floor. That was practically a paragraph. With proper grammar. Subject-verb agreement and all.

Not only that, but it’s so…creative. So inventive!

(Okay, she probably just got it from Dora the Explorer or Jake and the Neverland Pirates, but let me have my mommy moment here.)

Hannah checking out her treasure map.
(It's actually a P90X workout schedule. At least it's getting some sort of use.)

She’s like a sponge, soaking in everything she comes in contact with. Every word she says, she’s heard before. Everything she does, she’s seen before. But now she’s learning how to make connections and turn those memories into something new, into something special that’s just for her.

Is that exciting or what?

<insert annoyingly awkward pause in true Dora fashion>

YES!

And just because he's so ridiculously cute, check out this handsome little fella:

Toddlerisms: A Little Personality

I’m starting to wonder if my Toddlerisms segment is going to be able to last much longer. I might have to rename it Preschoolerisms or perhaps simply Two-Year-Old-Geniusisms. She is speaking in full-blown sentences, and at 36 inches tall, is looking and acting more and more like a little girl every day instead of the baby that I picture in my head.

But she’s still hilarious. As you all well know, she gets that from me, of course.

They (whoever “they” are) weren’t kidding when they said toddlers are little fireballs of energy. I thought the baby was going to be the one wearing me out, but lately the toddler has been full throttle. The constant energy inevitably provides many opportunities for little accidents (trips, flips, falls, and things of that nature), so we’re hearing a lot of this lately:

“Hannah okay!”

Yes, she speaks in third person. Don’t worry; it’s normal at this age. And quite entertaining. She giggles and squeals with delight as she chases the dog around the house, an event that is generally followed by a THUMP, a pause, and then “Hannah okay!”

Well-being seems to be a theme in her mind lately. Last night she draped a cord over her shoulders, walked over to Clint, and said, “I needa take tempacher.” She then stretched out the cord and placed it over his chest. “Twenny-four,” she said.

I think she’s a little confused. Perhaps we shouldn’t expect a career in the medical field in her future.

On the other hand, we can absolutely picture her in a physical trainer position. During my ab workout she stood beside me and yelled, “You’re fine! You’re fine! Go, go!”

Where does she get this stuff?

But the best thing about her right now is how wonderful of a big sister she is. When he cries, she tries to fix it, and when he’s happy, she’s happy.

And he’s pretty darn happy!

Now, if I could just get them to nap at the same time...

Hannah's Corner: Top 10 Moments of 2011

10) Our vacation to Sedona and the Grand Canyon. I love family road trips almost as much as Mama does!

9) Moving from my crib to my “big girl” bed. I had no problems at all because I’m a good little sleeper! Nothing like I was when I was a baby…

8) The amusement park. I wanted to ride the carousel over and over and over again.

7) Playing in the snow on the mountain.

I got to throw snowballs and try out sledding. Then we got to go eat cookies and ice cream, and I never pass up treats! My second experience with snow was quite different from the first:

6) Swimming. Anytime, anywhere. Seriously guys, if you haven’t tried it, you totally should. It’s amazing.

5) Trick-or-treating. I still talk about it all the time. My butterfly costume was the coolest, and it was super fun to walk up to houses and have people give me candy! I also learned the word “spooky.” I still say that word a lot because Daddy makes “spooky ghost” noises.

4) My birthday. Mama says I am two years old now. I got a birthday cake and presents. When Mama asked me what kind of cake I wanted, I said “blue” just because I’ve seen pictures of my first birthday cake, and it was blue.

3) Christmas! I helped decorate the tree, saw amazing Christmas lights, got to open presents again, and I even got a tricycle. I also got my favorite thing ever – CANDY!

2) Family coming to visit us. My grandmas and grandpas and aunts and uncles are the COOLEST ever! Plus I got to stay up late and act like a crazy person.  My mom almost cried when everybody left, but she says she’s kinda hormonal these days.

1) When Baby Abram was born! He’s so cute, and I always want to hold him. I wondered what it would be like to have a baby brother, but now I can’t imagine what life would be like without him.

I can’t wait to see what happens this year. I hope there are some new, exciting things in store for my family, and for yours too! Thank you for reading my Mama’s blog – she thinks you are all really great!

Hugs & Kisses,

 Hannah

Toddlerisms: Praise the Lord! And the Cookie Monster!

Sometimes I really think I got blessed with the sweetest child on earth. Just like any toddler, she has her moments, but I’m so delighted by how loving and polite she is. I could go on and on about all the sweet things she does, but I’ll spare you the details and just concentrate on one of our favorites: prayer.

We pray every night at dinner, and she always joins in with her version, which consists of folding her hands, closing her eyes, and mumbling. She has now started repeating certain things that we say, so our dinner prayers go something like this:

“Dear God, thank you for this food…”

*mumble mumble* “Food…”

“…and thank you for bringing Daddy home safe…”

*mumble mumble mumble* “Daddy home…”

“and for keeping Hannah’s baby brother safe…”

“Baby…” *mumble* “Brutha…”

“In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.”

“Maymen!”

So, so cute. But her prayer at church last Sunday takes the cake.

Since she loves music, we bring her downstairs from the nursery when it’s time for singing. (Plus everyone gets a kick out of her clapping and saying, “Yay!” after each song.)

Last week when the pastor started praying, she began her usual mumbling along with him. But at one point we heard some words that were clearly a very important part of her prayer.

*mumble mumble mumble* “Cookie Monster” *mumble mumble*

I couldn’t stop laughing. It’s good to know where her priorities are.

It's A Zebra! I Mean...A Boy!

I’m going to wait on announcing the baby’s name until he gets here, but I will say that for some reason, Hannah can’t say it. She apparently thinks I’m giving birth to a baby zebra because when we ask her to say her brother’s name, she says excitedly, “Beebra!” I can assure you that his name sounds nothing like zebra or ‘beebra’, but who can understand the mind of a toddler?

Hopefully Baby Beebra’s sister will get the hang of his real name soon because I am 34 weeks pregnant today. Hannah was born at 38 ½ weeks. It’s amazing that I could possibly only have a month to go – or less – before this new little one gets here.

I know that for the most part, raising a boy will be the same as raising a girl. All children need love, attention, guidance…the usual. But I keep hearing all these stories about wild acrobatics, broken bones, and extra trips to the emergency room. Are boys really that much more rowdy than girls?

Hannah may be a sweet, pleasant little girl, but don’t let that fool you. She’s always had a bit of a daredevil streak in her. She used to enjoy blindly running around with her skirt on her head, and she frequently attempted to play with mom-unapproved ‘toys’, such as the cheese grater.

But for some reason I have a feeling that her antics won’t even begin to compare with the stuff that the little boy comes up with. Perhaps I just know his daddy too well.

So tell me, moms with boys: Is Hannah’s assessment of her brother as a wild animal not so far off?

Should I be preparing for insanity?

Toddlerisms: Playin' With Doh

Hannah is at this insane stage in which she constantly repeats everything she says to the point that it drives us completely bonkers. I’ve mentioned her tenacity before, but I think it has reached its pinnacle. At least I hope it’s the pinnacle.

She’ll bring me a container of Play-Doh and say, “Open…open…open…open…open!”

“Okay, Hannah. Just tell Mommy one time. And what do you say?”
“Open peeeeeeeease.”

The phrase “one time” still hasn’t quite sunk in, and she seems to believe that she just might get lucky if she asks for enough things. She’s also figured out that it doesn’t hurt to be cute either.

“Mommy…want juice. Want juice, mommy. Want juice.”
“No more juice. You can have some water.”
She smiles sweetly. “Waaaant….cookie?”
I stifle laughter and watch her little wheels spinning as she tries to think of something I might say yes to.

“No cookie right now. We’re going to eat dinner soon.”
“Waaaant…apple?”
“No, Mommy is making dinner right now.”
“Waaaant….juice?”

So my life at this point seems to be a never-ending procession of toddler desires, coupled with some major abdomen acrobatics to remind me that more of this is on the way!

Thanks for the flattering sculpture, honey

And speaking of Play-Doh, Clint has discovered the art of making a snake out of it, much to Hannah’s disapproval. I told him this was not the best idea, but there is no stopping him when something is “hilarious”. And he is pretty clever with the Play-Doh.

So now whenever he gets the dough out and starts forming it into a tube shape, Hannah says, “No, Dada! No snake. Gitchoo, gitchoo!”

To his credit, Daddy always reminds her that he won’t ever let any real snakes get her. Then they make some nice animals together - like monkeys and puppies - before they happily put the dough away.

Five minutes later we hear:

“Open…open…open…open…open!”

A Soothing Salve and the Sincerest Form of Flattery

Aaaaaah, yes

Does anyone else have the problem of not being able to go through the medicine cabinet without opening the jar of Vick’s VapoRub and taking a big whiff?

Seriously, I LOVE the stuff. There’s just something magical about the aroma, that tantalizing mixture of menthol/eucalyptus/camphor. It must be a nostalgic thing since I always got it rubbed on my chest when I had colds as a kid…but all I can say is if I see a jar of it sitting there, I HAVE to smell it.

I suppose there are much worse quirks to have. My grandmother once told me she loved the smell of gasoline so much that it made her want to drink it. Yikes.

I got to thinking about this because Hannah just recently got over a cold, so of course I’ve had the delightful concoction nearby, and now Hannah wants a sniff every time she sees it. I’m not sure if she genuinely likes the scent or if she’s just imitating Mama, but it’s definitely true that kids are little copycats at this age. They are watching EVERY. MOVE. YOU. MAKE. That’s why it’s so vitally important to set a good example at all times. Of course, as humans and as parents, it’s impossible to be perfect - but we do have to be mindful of the little eyes that are on us.

Eventually, our kids are going to grow up and make fun of all of our idiosyncracies. I know this from being a daughter. (You’re welcome, Mom.) But right now I embody everything Hannah knows about the world, and that is a pretty heavy concept to think about. My actions shape how she learns to behave and adapt and interact. It’s such an amazing and scary responsibility.

Daddies are just as susceptible to this scrutiny, perhaps even more so when there are daughters involved. Hannah adores her daddy. Every day they go to the garden to see if there are any vegetables to pick. To her dad’s dismay, she routinely picks unripe tomatoes off the vine when he’s not looking and cheerfully displays them. She just wants to make him proud. Maybe that’s also why she sits at his computer with his headphones on and pretends to chat with her gaming buddies.

Taking over daddy's "man cave"

My children will always love me, but they won’t always revere me. They will realize that I’m flawed, that I don’t have all the answers, that I have silly quirks that drive them nuts...and that’s okay. I just pray that I will provide them with the best example I can possibly be. I just want to know that I have done all I can to shape them into strong, loving, beautiful souls.

And I also just want to know if there is anyone else out there who has a bizarre obsession with VapoRub…

Toddlerisms: Manners

Somehow we have managed to turn Hannah into a very polite little toddler. She says please, thank you, you’re welcome, I love you, excuse me, good morning, and my personal favorite, “happy to see you.”

Clearly the face of a polite toddler

It’s so funny to think about how she picked up some of these phrases, and I wonder how much she truly understands them. When she would wake up from her naps, our dog Lia would follow me to the bedroom and wag her tail excitedly. So I started saying “Look, Hannah. Lia is so glad you’re awake. She’s happy to see you.” Now Clint and I are greeted each morning with, “Good morning, Daddy. Happy-see-you, Mama.”

I love when we walk by someone in a store aisle and she says “scuse me.” It always puts a smile on the stranger’s face, and I can’t help but be proud. And it’s too adorable when she talks to her toys: “Scuse me, Elmo. Scuse me, baby.” However, I have to wonder what she’s thinking when her courtesy extends to inanimate objects with absolutely no anthropomorphic qualities. When we were playing on the bed a couple of days ago, she moved a pair of her underwear out of the way and said, “Scuse me, panties.” I couldn’t stop laughing.

I also sometimes wonder if manners have been a little too ingrained into our little one. Occasionally she gets stuck on one track and Clint has a little too much fun with it, as evidenced by this week’s most entertaining conversation:

“Thank you, Daddy.”
“You’re welcome, Hannah.”
“You’re welcome, Daddy.”
“Thank you, Hannah.”
“Thank you, Daddy.”
“You’re welcome, Hannah.”

It went on for a little longer. Lucky Hannah. She’s about to get a baby brother who will no doubt have his Daddy’s playfully annoying sense of humor.

But even as polite as Hannah is, nobody’s perfect, so some scenarios are going to take a little more work. Today in the car I changed the radio station, and with each new song I turned to, I heard a little voice behind me say, “No, Mama.” I returned to the original song. She said “yes” and began bobbing her head to the music. She’s not even two yet and she already wants to control the radio in the car. And I thought I had another ten years…

I always thought it would take a lot of reminders to teach a kid manners, but surprisingly, our observant little sponge picked it up quickly and easily. Turns out all it takes is parents modeling polite behavior.

Well, that and obnoxiously repetitive conversations.

Persistence

Although Hannah speaks quite clearly for her age, there are some pronunciations that she hasn't quite mastered yet, so she uses her own special versions of those words.

For example, 'chocolate' is known as ‘colly’ in our household, and ‘moy’ means ‘more’. Moy is a word that we hear quite often. Sometimes the kid just doesn’t know when to quit.

And I’ve got to hand it to her – there is no better lesson in persistence than a toddler with an agenda. If I’m not paying attention when she comes to me and asks for ‘moy milk’ or ‘moy colly’, she reaches her little hand up to my face and tilts my chin down so my eyes meet hers. “Mama, moy juice,” she insists, her eyes ablaze with an intense, earnest expression that indicates the sheer importance of her request. Her determination often makes me laugh, but it also makes me think about why some of us lose that sense of perseverance as we get older.

Granted, some people probably never lose it, but I know that so many of us get complacent in life. Being content is certainly something to strive for, but there’s a difference between contentment and lethargy.

Sometimes I get frustrated with my own laziness when I consider all the things I could or should be doing. But maybe it just seems impossible to accomplish everything I want when I’ve forgotten what true persistence looks like. And there are so many things that I want to learn…and do…and be.

Maybe it just gets to be overwhelming when we pile so many things onto our wish list and then realize that life goes by in a flash. Or is it because our efforts seem to get thwarted so many times along the way?

I imagine God must find us rather amusing, as there are so many times when we truly, deeply yearn for something but can’t quite articulate it. That shouldn’t stop us – it doesn’t stop the kiddos. Perhaps it’s simply easier for a child to strive for what she wants, without cluttering her mind with expectations and apprehensions. She goes for it and puts her whole mind, body, and soul into getting what she wants, not letting any barriers or miscommunication get in the way…because when the barriers come down and the goal is finally achieved, the payoff can be pretty great:

“Mama, here. Towel!”

“I don’t need a towel, Hannah. I’m dry.”

“No, mama. Towel! Here!”

“No, thank you.”

“Towel!”

“Baby, I really don’t need a towel…”

“Mama, towel! Towel!”

“Um…okay.” I give in and bewilderedly take the towel. “Thank you?”

“Mama…swimming.”