31 Days Of Strength In Scripture: What It Looks Like

As I've spent the past ten days reflecting on scriptures and putting into words some of my thoughts on them, I have also found myself reflecting on the ways in which I see the words of the Bible come alive to me, and the most powerful way I've seen them made real in my life has been through human beings.

Despite our flaws and weaknesses, we were designed to demonstrate holiness to one another. I wrote yesterday about how we sometimes let each other down, but it's important for me to also write about how we can come through for each other, and how it can be extraordinary.

 

When I think about who has shown me the strength that I've read about in the Bible, and the faith, the love, the determination, the perseverance, and the integrity, I think of my husband. (I think of many other people as well, but he is my closest relationship.) He so often shows me what it looks like to be a light in the darkness, to be a vessel for truth and love.

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Psalm 1:1-3 - “How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sit in the seat of scoffers! But his delight is in the law of the Lord, And in His law he meditates day and night. He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, Which yields its fruit in its season And its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers.”

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He holds me up when I am weak. When I have doubts, when I'm hurting, when I don't know what to say or how to deal with what life puts in front of me, he speaks truth.

He loves me sacrificially, even if I don't deserve it. He sets his needs aside when necessary and puts his family first. He loves his children. He teaches them and guides them and nurtures them.

He is committed to knowing God and seeking His wisdom. He does what is right, even when it's difficult. He is more patient than I could ever hope to be, and he leads others even when he doesn't know it.

He doesn't buy me expensive gifts or win me over with flowery words. That isn't what I want or need, and he knows my heart. All I need or want is a companion who walks beside me hand-in-hand, through the sunlight and through the storms, as we embrace all this abundant life has to offer.

I am so thankful for him, my sacred gift. As we all navigate our individual paths, we can never take for granted the blessing that is the hope we find in one another. We may falter and we may fail, but there is always love. There is always, always love.

The Settler and the Reacher

Clint and I aren’t big TV watchers (other than Lost and The Walking Dead, because we’re major nerds), but we do enjoy occasional reruns of How I Met Your Mother.

And while I certainly wouldn’t say that television is where we get our relationship tips, it does provide us with some interesting discussion topics. On one episode of HIMYM, it was said that in every relationship there is a “settler” and a “reacher” – one who “settles” for a lesser partner and one who “reaches” for someone smarter, better looking, funnier, or whatnot. So then of course we discussed our relationship roles, and Clint – sweet boy that he is – insisted that he was the reacher.

I guess the fact that he feels this way is a good thing for me, but it’s just not the case. The truth is we are quite evenly matched. That’s why we’ve been married for eight years today, and that’s why we are completely committed to putting up with each other for eighty more years. However long it takes.

He is a green, and I am a blue. He is logical. Analytical. I am poetic and sensitive. 

He has the patience that I don’t have and most likely never will.

He may never have the tact that I would prefer, but I’ve taught him how to be softer with his words. He has taught me how to be more assertive and confident with mine.

I have accepted that he will always leave trails of dirty clothes in the bedroom and beard shavings around the sink. He has accepted that I will never properly organize the linen closet or manage to keep the countertops free of clutter.

He loves my cooking, my pale skin, and my propensity to laugh at everything. I love his singing, his dark hair, and his goofy sense of humor.

He’s my strength when I’m weak, and I’m his support when he’s discouraged.

He drives me crazy one day and surprises me the next. And I probably do the same for him.

We’re definitely both reachers. We’ve always known that we never wanted to settle for a marriage that wasn’t great. We’re reaching for a life together that’s full of love and meaning .

Maybe relationships work best when both partners believe they are the reachers. Or at least if both behave as though they are the reachers, by always believing the other is a treasure whose value cannot be measured.    

As long as we can still love each other even when we don’t deserve it, as long as we’re always trying to out-give each other, as long as we’re together while we’re weathering the storms and embracing the joys… we’ll never have to settle.

Rugged Guy Meets Pensive Girl : A Love Story

Who doesn’t love a good survey? This week I decided to link up with From Mrs. To Mama for this fun Valentine’s questionnaire! I love getting to talk about Clint, especially since he’s not on Facebook for everyone to harass. ;)

How long have you and your significant other been together?

We just hit ten years a couple of months ago, though we’ve known each other for about sixteen.

Holy cow, that makes me feel old.

How did you meet? {What's your "love" story?}

I wrote a little about that on this post. I met his sister in sixth grade, and she and I became the best of friends! I was sort of “adopted” into their family over the years. He and I didn’t pay much attention to each other until one day…it just changed.

How long have you been married?

7 ½ years. We got married on the same day as these two , and we’ve outlasted them, so I guess we’re doing something right!

Where did you get married? Big or small wedding?

We had a lovely outdoor ceremony in our hometown…fairly small…big white tent…it was perfect. A true reflection of us.

Do you have any nicknames that you call one another?

The sweetest thing he calls me is “Love”. Makes my heart melt every time. “Good morning, Love!” “How are you, Love?” Never get tired of hearing it!

Usually I just call him “Clinty”. I’m unoriginal.

Name 3 things you love most about your honey.

I love his sense of humor. He makes me laugh every day, even when I’ve had a bad day. I love that he is a man of integrity, a man who values truth and honor and does the right thing when others won’t. I love the sweet, tender side of him that comes out with his kids, and every once in a while, with me.

Tell us how he proposed.

We went out to dinner at a quaint Italian restaurant on our anniversary. He left to “go to the bathroom”, changed into a tux, and came back with a huge bouquet of flowers and the most perfect, beautiful ring.

He likes to tell people that I just said, “Okay” and had an extremely disappointing reaction. He takes this little joke so far that whenever something comes on tv about a proposal and the woman freaks out, he says, “Oh, so that’s what it’s supposed to be like.” HOWEVER, I would like to set the record straight in pointing out that I actually said YES, and it was quite enthusiastic for a mellow gal like myself.

Also for the record, I was onto him and nervous, and I had told him not to do it in public!

So sweetheart, if you are still dissatisfied with the way it went down the first time, try it again. And this time I promise to make a huge spectacle, complete with weeping and blubbering all over your shoes.

Give us one piece of advice for keeping a relationship strong and full of love.

To keep it strong - Communication. It may sound cliché, but there’s a reason it’s such a common answer. When you stop communicating, you run the risk of losing direction. And when you both stop moving in the same direction, there’s nowhere for you to drift except apart.

To keep it full of love – Always look to the ultimate example of love – Jesus Christ. Perhaps it’s another cliché, but for another very good reason. There is no love greater than God’s love for us.

Show us a picture of what love means to you.

Oh, how can you choose just one? But this one sure makes me happy:

Supermom

Spread too thin. It seems to be a theme amongst all of us parents, doesn’t it? I’ve seen it in my own life, among my friends, and especially in the blogging community. We all want to be “Supermom”.

And even if you’re not a parent, I bet you also feel the pressure to always “have it together” and be at your best, each and every day. We all have this intense desire to succeed, perhaps just to have people see us as successful, but perhaps also to feel like we’ve made our marks on the world. But while it’s great to be motivated and strive to reach our goals, I think we need to be careful to avoid burnout.

I don’t want to be trying to do too much, and I know I can’t do everything. But oh my goodness, there is so much I wish I could do.

I want to make plenty of time for my kids and my husband, get creative with my new camera, work out to stay healthy and get back into pre-pregnancy shape, write often and keep up with my blog and other projects, be a domestic goddess (24-7 spotlessly clean house, daily delicious home-cooked meals for the family, impeccable organization skills, etc), and not be tired while doing it all.  

And I probably shouldn’t even mention the other things I really want to do that don’t even factor in right now because they have been pushed so far off the radar: scrapbooking, flute-playing, journaling, learning to sew, traveling…

I’m exhausted just thinking about all of this. I need to remember something: I have a newborn. And a toddler. And a toddler-like husband (just kidding, honey). They just need time with me, just love from their Mama. I don’t have to be great at the rest of it. I just have to be great at loving them.

The energy will come back in time, as the little one gets older, and as we adjust to new and ever-changing demands. Maybe one day I’ll reach that supreme Supermom status. Today I’m going to relax and live moment by moment…while I fold laundry and yawn profusely.

Building a Life in a Decade

So another ten-year milestone has come up – our dating anniversary!

Yep, tomorrow the hubby and I will have been together ten looooooong years. But the truth is it sure doesn’t feel like that long at all. It just feels right. And that feels good.

In honor of this exciting point on our timeline, I have put together a brief year-by-year playbook of the last decade.

First, it should be said that we were clearly family long before we actually became family:

It was meant to be.

And so here's how the story goes.

2001 – Senior prom. Couple of dates. Nothing serious.
Then I went off to college, and we missed each other lots. Got serious.

2002 – Smitten. Enough said.

2003 – Tough year. Lost a close friend. Had an incredibly strong man by my side through it all. Realized what a good thing I had. So glad the feeling was mutual! Proposal…on our dating anniversary. J

2004 – The time of our lives. Marriage, Caribbean honeymoon, Irish vacation!

Married on June 5th. Beautiful outdoor ceremony.

Adopted our first "child". GIANT mistake. :)

2005 – Year of the Big Move! Headed west.

2006 – Ups and downs. Opportunities. New house. Exploration.

2007 – The good life! Camping, travel, family fun!

2008 – Hardest one yet. Sorrow. Hardship. Made it out alive.

2009 – Best one yet. Bundle of joy.

2010 – Little girl grew. We grew…into some pretty amazing parents.

2011 – Baby boy expected. Sweet family. We’ve come so far.

As we’re looking forward to expanding our family again, I think back on all the obstacles, thrills, challenges, and surprises, and I’m so glad we’ve had each other through it all. Here’s to the next ten years and many more beyond!

Love, Faith, Trials, Blessings

Yesterday Clint and I watched part of the video of our honeymoon. Although it was only a little over seven years ago, I couldn’t help but think we looked so young.

Amidst footage of us traipsing through island gift shops and aimlessly walking through the corridors of the cruise ship, there are actually a couple of nice candid moments. At one point I turn the camera on Clint and ask what he would like to say to our future children.

“I’m glad you’re not here,” he says.

What can I say? The guy has a sense of humor.

I ask him why, and he says he would most likely be spending a lot of time disciplining.

“Except for that one girl,” he says. “She’s probably pretty good. But the oldest boy…he’s like me. He’s a pain in the butt.”

It was such a great moment to reflect on because Hannah really is a sweet, well-mannered little girl (most of the time – she is a toddler after all), but since Daddy was right so far about her, his other prediction has me a little freaked out.

I know nothing about little boys.  Growing up, I was surrounded by sisters, so I felt pretty prepared when I found out our first was going to be a girl. Of course, it turned out that I was not at all prepared for the trials of a newborn, but that’s a story for another day. Luckily, I have no doubt that I will figure out how to raise a boy as I go because, well, that’s just how it works.

This pregnancy has felt so much different from the last in a lot of ways, and not just in a physical way, though the fatigue has pretty much kicked my butt this time around. I can’t decide if I feel more prepared now, or if I’m actually more scared because I know what to expect…round-the-clock breastfeeding, pacing the floor until the wee hours of the morning…basically, I’m terrified of the sleep deprivation. But at least this time I also know from experience the joy that lies ahead.

Whenever I start to feel a little apprehensive about what it’s going to be like to add another little one to the mix, I remind myself that there was once a time when I wasn’t sure if I would ever even get to experience being a mother. It took nearly two years of some dark, emotional days and a devastating miscarriage before Hannah came into our lives. I think back to that time and the fragment of a person that I became, and though I’m so relieved and thankful for the way things turned out, I sometimes feel a little guilty. I didn’t have to struggle through it for as long as some people do. My heart aches for everyone who is experiencing infertility or loss because it hurts on a level that, I think, others can’t truly understand unless they’ve been through it themselves. It feels so unfair to watch everyone around you get pregnant and wonder why it’s not so easy for you, why you don’t deserve to have your longing fulfilled too.

I know that God is big enough to give us peace and comfort even when we are filled with despair, and that’s my prayer for those who are going through such tough trials. His love is greater than any we have ever known, and that’s a reminder that often escapes all of us, especially when life starts to look nothing but cruel. I know there are times when it was sure hard for me to remember.

I look at those two kids on that video, so young and in love and unaware of the hardships that are in store for them, and I’m thankful that they started out with faith.

It has been an amazing journey, and there is so much more life to be lived. I can only hope that as new trials approach, I can learn how to face them with more strength and faith than I have in the past.

And I hope this baby boy is easier than his daddy expects, but no matter what, he is a blessing and a gift that I will always treasure.