We all want to give our children a magical Christmas, but
how can we be sure we will get our money’s worth out of a toy purchase? Well, in
an effort to help fellow parents weed through all of the unsatisfactory toys
and find the ones that will actually provide hours of entertainment, I’ve put
together a list of playthings that will undoubtedly spur squeals of glee from
your little one.
If my little guy could write a letter to Santa, he would
likely include the following in his wish list:
10) Packets of
Oatmeal – Why bother with fancy maracas or drums when your child can
let his inner percussionist out by gleefully thwacking together these crinkly
casings of fun? Extra fun if one happens to rip open, sending oats flying
everywhere.
9) Random Trinkets
– This generally includes items your older child discards haphazardly, such as
stickers, candy wrappers, marker lids, and other various choking hazards. Fun
for you as well – nothing is quite as exciting as watching your toddler pick up
a freaky purple spider and shove it in his mouth, only to discover that it’s
just one of those plastic rings left over from Halloween.
8) A Giant Pile of
Freshly Squeezed Dog Turd – It doesn’t cost a dime, unless you count the
animal that provides it and the food required to create it, and Play Doh is
highly overrated anyway.
7) Measuring Tape
– Drape it, drag it, fling it, wag it…with this toy, one thing is certain – it
will never, EVER actually be in the drawer it’s supposed to be kept in.
6) Plastic/Cardboard
Containers – The recycling bin is a veritable treasure trove of Christmas
goodies. Nothing
says playtime quite like a tampon box or a mostly-empty bottle of coffee creamer.
5) DVDs, Books, or
anything else kept on a shelf – The more important/expensive the item, the
better, and all you have to do to ensure that it gets played with is stack the
item as neatly as possible amongst other important/expensive items.
4) Remote Control
– In the middle of an intense moment of your favorite television show? That’s
exactly when this item will most often be played with. Just make sure this is
easily accessible to your little one, and it won’t be long before you’ll kick
the television habit – an added bonus for you!
3) Laundry Basket
–Push toys? No, laundry basket. Rocking animal toy? No, laundry basket.
Expensive playhouse? No – laundry basket. The epitome of versatility, this item
never loses its appeal. And somehow never gets used for laundry.
2) A Stocked Pantry
– Once again, who needs a fancy playhouse? There is so much delight to be
discovered within…
1) Toilet Paper – And it's even better when it's already in the toilet.
So there you have it – a list of toys that your children
would love to have but that you most likely will not purchase for them for
Christmas…
Because then they probably wouldn’t want to play with them
anymore.
