I killed it
yesterday.
As in, I
totally rocked it out – this stay-at-home mom thing.
It was an
errands-completed, groceries-purchased, house-cleaned, laundry-done,
kids-fed, 30-Day-Shredded (Jillian Michaels, you ain’t got nothin’
on me!), bible-studied, words-written, dinner-prepped kind of day.
Whew!
Today? Well,
let’s just say…if only every day could be like yesterday…
But I’m
still giving myself credit because, as I’ve said before, it’s
about balance. We need the busy and
the still…the hurried and
the relaxed…the chaos and
the quiet. I think it all has its purpose.
I have been
learning a lot lately about the difference between doing the ‘busy’
things and doing the ‘important’ things, so I’m trying to make
a conscious effort to rid myself of distractions and focus on the
essential. I think I’m doing better at weeding out those activities
that only serve to divert me from those with actual significance.
I’ve been adding more to my plate, that’s for sure, but I’ve
been adding the more meaningful stuff.
Busy can be
good, I’ve realized. We often talk about how we all need to slow
down a little more and savor our moments, but there is good to be
found in the productive days as well. Busy means ‘life as normal’
– we haven’t been derailed by something awful or interrupted by
illness or suffering. I have before, and I don't enjoy that kind of
'busy'. Give me the contentment of a boring ol' routine any day.
When I have
that perspective, it makes it so much easier for me to accept how
ordinary my days are. And boy, are they so incredibly ordinary.
Bill-paying, cooking-and-cleaning, errand-running ordinary. Busy, but
not so busy that I lose sight of why I'm doing the work.
I’ve kept a
journal for years. In looking back at all my past entries, I’ve
noticed an underlying theme that has plagued my thoughts –
insecurity. Am I good enough? Do I measure up? For years I have tried
to overcome my struggle of feeling like I am not doing
enough. But it's not
about how much I'm doing. It's not even really about what
I'm doing. It's about why
I'm doing it.
I am most
effective when I enjoy what I do and feel that it has purpose and
significance. When I’m busy but the tasks don’t feel meaningful,
all I feel is a depletion of energy. Yet when I fill my time with
worthy tasks, there is a sense of accomplishment, and with that,
contentment.
And do you
know what I've discovered? Sometimes even the most menial, ordinary
tasks have an incredible amount of significance.
Even the
tiniest conversation can have an impact. Even the shortest moment can
last a lifetime. A little boy gets scared, and a big sister hugs him
tight and says, “Don't worry, baby boy. I will always be with you.”
And then it all makes sense.
It's not that
every day is perfect. It's not that there aren't worries and
frustrations that get in the way. It's not that those insecurities
never creep back in, begging me to notice them and give them the
value they don't deserve.
It's that I'm
in a sacred place of knowing I'm right where I'm supposed to be,
doing just what I should be doing. My days are busy, in quite the
ordinary sort of way. But there's one thing that makes them
uncommonly extraordinary – I wake up each morning
knowing that today matters.
