Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Taking The Leap: Third Baby Fears

It feels kind of weird announcing this on here since I announced it on social media so long ago and am only just now getting around to blogging it, but that's what happens when you've got a sweet little thing inside of you that's been making you feel a little icky. Yes, that's right - it's official. I am pregnant with our third child.

It's fascinating how different the reactions to the third are from the reactions to the first or second. It is less 'yay' and more 'whaaaaat?!' I can only imagine what the reactions will be like if we ever spring for a fourth. You'd think we were Duggaring it up over here. (Side note: I think the Duggars are lovely, but I don't think we'll go for nineteen.)

I have always loved the idea of having a big family and would love to have even another one day, but you guys, pregnancy is no joke. It has been a rough few months in our household – lots of gagging and wretching on my part, and lots of TV watching and self-entertaining on the kids' part. I'm at 16.5 weeks now, and the morning sickness ('morning' – ha!) is definitely better, but there is certainly some lingering queasiness here and there. I think this baby is plotting. (“YOU SHALL HAVE NO MORE AFTER ME, BWA HA HA!”) Meanwhile, the crazy husband is already planning the fourth...

Going from one child to two felt easier to me than going from zero to one. When you have a first baby, especially when you've had a loss prior, everything is terrifying. From worrisome ailments to inexplicable crying (both child and parent), caring for your very first newborn is quite the trial-and-error phase of life. But with the second you actually feel like you know what you're doing. That was especially true for me since they were so close in age – I never actually left baby mode. It's a little different now that the age difference is slightly larger, and that's just one of the many things I get nervous about. I'm starting over in the baby phase. Yikes!

It would be easy for me to fear all the unknowns about this new endeavor. What's going to be different with three? Am I going to be overwhelmed? Will this baby sleep? What if something goes wrong?

There are so many things in life I could fear, but when I consider all that's taking place in the world, that seems to put it into perspective a bit. Having a baby shouldn't be toward the top of that list of things to be fearful of (although, having recently been in the throes of first trimester woes, I will say that three months of consistent nausea is a totally legit thing to fear). In every new phase of life there is room for fear, but I've got to cast that aside and embrace and enjoy what's in front of me.

Whenever I start to feel apprehensive about adding to our brood, I start reminding myself of the facts. Yes, kids are a lot of work, but they are the kind of work that is worth it! They are fun. And they are family, and who doesn't want more family? I mean, if Tori Spelling can have four, why can't I? Maybe she didn't feel like barfing the whole time though...

Anyway, there is much to celebrate. What I am looking forward to most is watching my two older babies gain a sibling and experience the joy of a new life. I'm excited to meet this new person and learn all about him or her. I'm excited to watch them all grow together and love each other. And that's the key right there - love conquers fear.

Some parents say that going from two to three was huge because they became outnumbered, while others say that it was a natural transition since they were more laid back. I can't be sure of what's to come, but what I can be sure of is that no matter what, we'll always have a lot of love in this house.

Fears about having a third child