Out Of Hibernation

I've wanted to write something. I've tried to gather my swirling thoughts into something coherent for a while now, so I could just have something, anything, to write – because it's like therapy for me – but I've been stuck in a weird place for quite some time.

Aside from giving birth again in a few months, all I've been able to think about, for the most part, is the state of the world we're living in. I go back and forth between wanting to write about current events to raise awareness about issues that are important to me and wanting to go hide in a hole somewhere so I don't have to think about any of it anymore. The latter part has been winning lately, and I often wonder if it will be what wins in the long run. Same goes for spiritual or personal topics or anything else I can think of to write about. The introvert in me is currently full force, and I'm having trouble deciding if I should fight it or not.

My kids are doing and saying the funniest things right now, and I can't even bring myself to write a fun, lighthearted post about them. I feel too bogged down by the weight of it all. But as I find myself writing this, I also find myself thinking that there have to be many others who are experiencing the same weight, the same burdens in this fallen world that humanity forces us to face. So I'm just putting it out there in case someone like me needs the reassurance that there's someone else like them out there - “Me too...I feel it too.”

Surely, we all feel it, though we may each experience it a little differently.

I have a picture of that stupid dress on my phone. You know the one – the infamous photo of a white and gold dress that's (supposedly) actually black and blue, though I'll just have to take everyone's word for it, because for the life of me, no matter how many directions in which I twist my phone or how many times I play around with the brightness, I can only see white and gold. Every time I look at the darn thing, I get so irritated that I can't see the colors for what they truly are. I don't like when my eyes won't let me see the truth. Do you see where I'm going with this?

(I'm honestly over the whole dress debacle, but it makes for a nice metaphor here.)

I wish I could see the big picture. I mean, I suppose that I can sometimes, but I guess I wish I could always see it. I recently looked back over those posts about scripture that I wrote several months ago, and I sort of thought something along the lines of, hey, there's some good insight here...who wrote this? Cause right now, it doesn't feel like it was me. I'm hoping I've just been frozen for a while and am about to experience a thaw. It is spring, after all. Finally.

At least my children have helped me get through this season. They are so great about keeping me from getting frozen too solid. We've had cuddles and milestones and firsts like lost teeth and dance parties in the living room with Daddy and hilarious dialogue, so why in the world do I ever let life stress me out?

Somehow I always end up going back to that C.S. Lewis quote I have on the About page of this blog. I can't keep my heart to myself. It just isn't what we're meant to do. So I'm sharing it with you and hoping you'll share yours too.

It is spring, and I feel the thaw coming.

31 Days of Strength In Scripture: Who I Am Is Not Who I Have To Be

“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” - Galatians 2:20

This may come as a shock to all of you.

I am not a perfect person.

I know, I know. I'll let that sink in for a bit...

But seriously, I think if we're being honest with ourselves, we all know that we each have individual faults. We have parts of ourselves that we would like to change, and perhaps even parts that need to be changed though we don't even realize it, and one of the perks of living by faith is that we have the power to do so.

I recently came across this article about authenticity and how our generation has come to idolize it. I thought it put into words something that I've noticed but haven't quite been able to put my finger on. We live in a world where we readily embrace our individuality but reject real honesty and truth, to the point that we reject the idea that we need to change. Sometimes we shouldn't follow our feelings – we should use them as a guide to determine how we can be made better.

I need to put myself aside, recognize my need for grace, and be honest about my weaknesses. And I have two very good reasons to do so.

 

 

 

Living by faith is a moment by moment sort of thing, but when they see me being open about who I am and being willing to be transformed into something better, they will understand what it means to truly live authentically, in the light of grace.

 

Authenticity - To look like the original, you have to know the source.