What It Means To Be A Mama

Today I'm so grateful for blessings and abundant joy, but I remember the times of longing and relentless heartache. I wish a peaceful day to all of you with mama hearts. xoxo

Calling All Guest Posts! Time For A Vacation

Hooray! It’s almost time for fun! I need fun…oh, how I need fun.

We all just got over some colds…Abram has regressed in his nighttime sleep…the husband was working some late hours recently…so we’re all pretty exhausted. We need a vacation, and I am beyond ecstatic that we are getting one.

Fun…I see you. You’re so close I can almost touch you. I’m almost there…just a little further…

While on vacation I want to be as ‘unplugged’ as possible and concentrate on my family, so I thought this would be a great opportunity to publish some guest posts.  

If you’re interested, send the following to me at panoramicplayground @ gmail.com by May 20^th for consideration:

·        Your (not previously published) post of a reasonable length (mine are generally around 400 words or so) on a topic that fits with my blog (family, kids, childhood, life stories – you know what I like!)

·         A pic or two that fits with the post, if you’d like

·         A short author bio (and a link to your blog, if you have one!)

Ever since I started blogging back in September, I’ve been eager to have guest posters. I don’t know why; there’s just something about the whole community atmosphere that excites me. I loved being a guest on The Mommyhood Memos, and I love reading guest posts and getting introduced to other writers.

 Thanks for reading, and I hope you all are having fun (or at least looking forward to having fun) too!

Feelings, Feelings, Feelings...And Perspective

You know how sometimes, as a woman (if you are one), or perhaps simply as a blue personality, you just have times in your life when you experience a great deal of emotion?

It’s not that you’re simply sad or depressed or any one definable emotion…you’re just feeling a lot. And it doesn’t necessarily stem from something specific, but perhaps it’s a combination of many things all affecting you at once?

That’s what I’ve been experiencing lately.  And whenever I have these bouts of heightened sensibility, or whatever you might call it, I have a hard time pinpointing what it is derived from.
Though I’m not sure why I’ve been so delicate lately, I know there are several things that have deeply affected me.

Feeling frustrated with doing the same thing day in and day out and never feeling accomplished.

Feeling lonely and sorry for myself as I wish that I had more family around to help out.

Feeling like I’m at the breaking point with dealing with Baby Boy’s crankiness, only for him to be hit with illness and finding out what cranky really looks like.

Feeling brokenhearted and crying for someone I’ve never met who went into early labor and lost her twin boys.

And then feeling like a jerk for feeling frustrated when I should be feeling grateful that I have a sick baby to hold.

That’s a lot of feeling, right?

I generally have a pretty good perspective on things, but sometimes I fall into those ‘feeling’ traps and lose the positivity.

But when I do, it doesn’t take much for me to get turned back around. It’s almost as though God thwacks me on the head and says, “Hey, look. It could be so much worse, ya know?”

I know. I especially know when I think back to some of the harder times that have been, or even when I think forward to some of the harder times that have yet to be. This life holds so much. I guess all the pain and fear and wonder and beauty just gets to be too much sometimes.

Last night Abram had a lot of trouble sleeping since he’s so congested. All he could do was cry, so I cuddled with him until he finally calmed down. We laid there and stared at each other, and as he gazed up at me with those big blue eyes, he even gave me a little smile. He’s sick and hurting and tired, and he could still smile when he saw my face.

How’s that for a lesson?

Life is sprinkled with those moments, and maybe that’s why it’s so easy to get lost in emotions. There’s so much to feel. And maybe, even though it’s hard sometimes, that’s better than not feeling at all.

My Warrior Dash Experience

The craziest frickin' day of your life!

I wouldn’t exactly call it that. Honestly, I’ve had crazier days at home with the kids. But it was definitely an experience, and I’d even call it a fun one!

My good friend Maris talked me into participating since she’d done it last year and thought it was a blast. (Of course she did – she bikes, like, a thousand miles every weekend.) Also, I figured it would give me incentive to get back into shape after having Abram. (Which it did, sometimes, when he actually took decent naps and I didn’t feel like I’d been hit by a train.)

Now, we all know I’m no Jillian Michaels, but for goodness sakes, why is it that every time I mentioned to someone that I was going to do Warrior Dash, the response was something like, “You’re doing that?”

Yes, I know I just had a baby five months ago, and yes, I know the website makes it sound like only badass, hardcore people who enjoy gnawing on giant turkey legs – medieval style – would ever do such a thing.

But, you guys, come on. It’s just a 5K with some wall climbing and fire jumping. (Oh, and lots of mud.)

Plus, I’ve birthed two children. I’m more badass than you think. ;)

I saw warriors of all types and abilities there, so if you’re thinking about doing it but aren’t sure, I say go for it! You don’t have to worry about finishing quickly (there are even lines at some of the obstacles), and you just might make some friends along the way.

Novice Participant Advice:

 

 

Start at the front of the line. I thought I’d be considerate and start toward the back of the line so I wouldn’t get trampled by the crazy warriors be in anyone’s way. Unfortunately, that meant I was at the back of the line at the Giant Cliffhanger (rope climb), which put me quite behind.

Not that it really matters if you’re unconcerned with your time…

Wear something wacky. There are costumes of all types, so get creative if you want. Or don’t, if you’d rather not call any additional attention to yourself as you’re getting pummeled by tires in the rubber jungle or precariously teetering across the tightrope. That’s okay, too.

Consider your wardrobe when applying sunscreen. I knew I was going to destroy whatever I wore, so I donned a ridiculously loud tie-dye swimsuit coverup that had been in the bottom of my drawer for years. I’m not used to wearing racerbacks, so I kind of missed some spots and ended up with a weird burn. Oops.

Go with a group. I can see how it could be so much more fun if you're with a bunch of other goofballs. We just took two of our favorite goofballs (our kids), and although they weren't allowed on the course, they still had a blast. Hannah ran back and forth between tents while yelling, "I'm running a race! I'm a fast girl!" Future warrior, indeed.

Maybe one day we'll run it together as a family, complete with costumes!

Conserve your energy just before you get to an obstacle. The photographers are on the other side of some of them. Right after you complete the obstacle, put on your best diehard warrior façade and grimace for the camera!

I totally plan on participating again next year, but I’ve still got a long way to go before I beat this year’s winning time. In fact, I’m going to go ahead and put it on record here that it’s never going to happen. The guy with the best time ran six-minute miles. SIX. MINUTE. MILES. That’s impressive when there are no obstacles, but to do it when you’re also climbing cargo nets and swimming through mud?

I’d like to shake your hand, sir.