Out of Control

You know the saying, “When it rains, it pours”?

That has pretty much been my life over the past several days.

It seems like it always begins with something minor, and you think, “Meh, that was kind of annoying, but I’m tough!”  And then it’s followed by one thing after another…and another.

The worst has been an unfortunate and stressful situation with a family member. I’m just having to distance myself because it’s a painful situation that I need to learn to let go of. I have to realize that I can’t control other people’s actions; I only have power over my own battles.  

Then I thought the kicker was Hannah coming down with a cold. Since her brother’s birth is quickly approaching, I’ve been saturating her in antibacterial hand sanitizer for the past few weeks in order to avoid illness, but apparently to no avail. Serves me right. Once again, I’ve been trying to control something that is ultimately out of my hands. I can’t help it that I have this vision of her meeting her brother for the first time, and holding him, and kissing him…and now I’m hoping he stays put for a while so she can get well first. But as we all know very well, birth timing is definitely something I have no control over.

And then Sunday night I pulled up to the drive thru, just wanting to grab a burger for my sick baby and get back home to her, and I became the victim of a hit and run. There was only minor damage to the car, but seriously, who smacks into someone’s vehicle and then just speeds off? It’s just more behavior that I can’t change, another circumstance out of my control.

I’m sensing a theme here. Life is full of the “out-of-control” moments. And I think they teach us to step back and say, “God, I know this is in your hands. Help me to let go.” It’s a lot easier to do when it’s just the little stuff. But when the big stuff comes along…well, I guess that’s when we can look back and truly be thankful for the preparation that the little stuff gave us.

I know I’m lucky. I’ve been blessed with an amazingly strong and faithful husband to lean on and a precious little family that brings the rainbow in the midst of the rain. I can only hope that I never have to face some of the “big stuff” that I fear, but at least I have the tools to do so.

And thank God for those sweet “out-of-control” moments that make it all worthwhile.