I've written before about how there are
times in our lives when we feel so out of control, and really, we
should feel that way all the time. We're NOT ultimately in
control, no matter how much we try to orchestrate things to make them
feel that way. And it's during the times when we feel most out of
control that I believe He is nudging us closer to Him.
When I think about the first verse that
got my attention as a teen who was seeking guidance and purpose, I
think of Proverbs 19:21.
This verse brings me comfort because it
reminds me that His ways are so much better than mine. He doesn't
make everything happen in our lives exactly the way we want Him to
because He knows better. One
of the most significant things we can ever do is let go of our will
and seek His above all else.
We can be so silly
with our little wants. We're like my daughter, who was so convinced
that she wanted to grow up and marry her little brother. She was so
sad to find that she couldn't, that it didn't work that way. We react
much the same when we discover that the way we thought life was going
to go isn't accurate at all. But if we can recognize when our plan
doesn't fit His purpose, we can let go and watch His purpose unfold.
Sometimes that works out great for us.
I didn't think I'd get married very early in life. I'd always
envisioned that I'd be around 24 or so. I was very picky about
potential boyfriends (and also shy) and didn't really date in high
school, so I just assumed I'd focus on college, work, travel, etc and
would possibly meet someone sometime after all of that happened.
Then I started dating my future husband
at 18 and married him at 21. It's by far one of the all-time greatest
decisions I've ever made. I imagine that it was one of those times
when God said, “Seriously, kiddo? Your plans suck. Here, let me go
ahead and give you the greatest gift of your entire life. You're
going to need him.”
But then, of course, there are other
times when the loss of what we wanted hurts deeply – it doesn't
turn out 'good' at all – and that's where faith comes in. When we
know God and understand that He is goodness and grace and mercy and
love, we can truly rest in the hope that exists 'beyond the blue'.
I don't feel like I'm there yet. I
don't know how to 'praise You in this storm' as well as I should. But
I do know how well You have carried me thus far.
